I decided to start the new year off by taking my first solo trip to a yoga retreat in Mexico. 2015 had brought the best and the worst I could have imagined, and I wanted to cleanse my soul so I could start moving forward with the life I had been gifted. So only an experienced practicing yogi should choose a week long yoga retreat right? Not this girl, a couple times with a dvd in my basement is all I had under my belt…er yoga pants…before embarking on this journey.
I selected Xinalani Retreat (www.xinalaniretreat.com) as they cater to solo travelers with an 8 bed and 4 bed dorm-style palapa. There are also 1 and 2 bed suites for couples and those seeking privacy which I ended up sharing with another solo traveler as the larger rooms were sold out. The property is very secluded, reachable only by a 45 minute boat ride from Puerto Vallarta. There is a local village nearby, but the road stops many miles before reaching this area, the only means of transport being horse, donkey, or on foot. Our yoga instructor actually hiked in many hours each day, and the employees and other beachgoers arrived by water taxi. There are only 23 rooms with a total capacity of 54 people which I don’t believe we reached that week. There was a coinciding retreat with the instructor and most students from France, but we were part of the regular classes which are always available with the resident instructor Adriana who is just amazing. I don’t think I would have developed the love I now have for yoga without her. I purchased the Single Yogini Retreat which is listed on their website now for $1599 and includes round trip airport transfer (taxi and boat), 7 nights in the Big Palapa, 3 healthy meals/day, 1 daily margarita, 2 yoga classes/day, 1 jungle trek, 1 surf or paddle board lesson, 2 additional uses of surf or paddle boards, and 2 hour long massages. The classes are built around a Sat to Sat stay, but you can come and go any time and choose from a number of other packages and scheduled retreats.
The rooms were simple but beautiful. They all feature an open air setup with amazing views of the ocean, still with privacy as they are carved up into the hillside. You can see the ocean while showering with their biodegradable products and relax in the hammock without leaving your room. The floors are unfinished and the closet space/shelving limited, but easily forgiven as you breathe in the ocean air. The beds have mosquito netting, and you can hear the ocean all night (for a good laugh read the reviews where someone complains it is too loud.) Meals are served at set times with everyone coming to the open air dining area together. The food was beautifully presented, delicious, fresh, and healthy with vegetarian/vegan options. A different specialty juice is featured each meal, with coffee, tea, and light snacks available all day. They seated us solo travelers together so we could meet the first night, and I was surprised at how many other ladies had chosen to come alone. We were all from different places, there for different reasons, and at different stages of life, but already had a common ground. The benefit of solo traveling in this way is if you want to be part of the group that day you can. Or if you feel like being alone, that’s fine too, you don’t owe anyone anything like you might if traveling with a companion. Of note, you will climb many steps a day covering the property, often in the dark, and need to be in somewhat decent shape for that. Those stairs kicked my butt far more than the yoga did.
So here I was, armed with my kindle, selfie-stick (a must have for the solo traveler not afraid of looking like an idiot), mountain of books, adult coloring book, and journal expecting to be alone with my thoughts most of the time. I was wrong. I filled the days with activities, meeting new people, enjoying the beauty, and simply relaxing. I did keep up with my journaling daily and will include some personal excerpts in italics as the story of the week unfolds.
Friday Jan 1, 2016: On the eve of my retreat, I’m looking forward to it but not excited, it’s like I’m not capable of that feeling anymore. Hopefully that will change soon, even this week. I’m proud of myself for going alone, rooming with a stranger, sitting with myself for 7 days to become a mentally healthier and spiritually stronger woman. So that’s where I was. I wrote out my New Year’s Resolutions and goals for the trip, and as I read over them now, I feel proud as many have been accomplished.
Saturday Jan 2, 2016: Xinalani is beautiful, and there are a number of solo female travelers. It’s going to be a challenge here just navigating the jungle steps, but I’m up for the physical work as well as the mental. The traveling was quite easy with a direct flight to Puerto Vallarta, complete with instructions to get the prepaid cab to the port, and a lovely boat ride over to the retreat with views of the mountains and their small communities along the water. I was quite impressed when we arrived, seeing the property from the boat and how the buildings were carved into the mountainside set against the jungle. I was even more impressed as the employees carried our luggage up said mountainside. We arrived too late for that day’s yoga class, but I was happy to meet everyone at the bar and dinner that night.
Sunday Jan 3, 2016: I came to a realization that every breath I take, every action, every experience I’m doing for 2 because he isn’t here to do it. Every yoga session, every relaxing moment on the beach, every beautiful view is appreciated double because it’s for him too. I was up before sunrise this morning, and every morning, as I was suffering insomnia back then though understandable with the amount of emotional stress I was under. We had our first yoga class in the large open studio (1 of 3) with a gorgeous view of the ocean, and it better be for all the steps we climbed to get there. Unlike the basic dvd I had practiced with, Adriana asked us to start by setting our intentions and dedicating our practice to someone we loved, the first of many times I would be in tears this week. Like most yoga classes, she provided instructions for beginners like me and options for the more advanced practitioners. I found during the week I would laugh at what seemed like an impossible option then try it with surprising success. The morning classes were 90 minutes, culminating in a long savasana, known as corpse pose, accompanied by relaxing music. Yes that’s just lying there to allow the benefits of your practice to settle in, easy right? Not so much for me on my first try with my mind racing and looking all around at the scenery. The music we listened to that stood out the most to me is called Mantras From Tibet, Om Tara/Preparation and can be purchased on Amazon Music. I spent the rest of the day enjoying the food, taking way too many selfies at the beach, relaxing, reading, and practicing restorative afternoon yoga. After dinner a few of us walked down to the little beach bar adjacent to the property for some mojitos and live music.
Monday Jan 4, 2016: This morning yoga was frustrating because I was in a lot of pain. I re-framed my lack of ability as caring for myself to not get injured so I can, over time, get stronger physically and mentally to do God’s work. It was the stairs I tell ya! After a tearful yoga session and breakfast, a group of us walked through the small local village to a horseback riding area some had found the previous day. Not only was the walk beautiful as we crossed the river with the butterflies all around, but the village really got me thinking. The homes were small and rundown with very little in the way of anything outside the basic necessities of life, dirt all around, clothes hanging on the line outside. Initially I felt bad for these people, but I realized they would likely feel bad for me if they knew of the average American lifestyle. They don’t sit it traffic hours a day, addicted to their cell phones, zombies in front of mindless television. They fill those tiny homes with family they actually talk to and appreciate the hard work that goes into everything they have. The horseback riding was fun as we wound through the narrow mountain path up to the top with amazing views. I had a guide where the others didn’t, thankfully as I am not an experienced rider. Her name was Margarita, she was about 12, and walked along happily in thin flip flops through the horse poop. We communicated a little in Spanish, mine not being so great, but I was very happy to have her with me. We arrived at a waterfall with a little restaurant and artist market, but unfortunately were not prepared having brought no extra money. Judging from my photo album, the rest of the afternoon and evening was spent taking more beach selfies, reading, journaling, yoga-ing, eating, and drinking.
Tuesday Jan 5, 2016: Yoga this morning was a community class in a circle where we touched and supported each other as well as wished a mantra to someone we loved, someone neutral, someone we have trouble with, then the whole world and everything living: May you dwell in an open heart, may you be happy and balanced, may you be well and at peace. I can still hear those words and remember this unique class so clearly. There is a big difference between balancing in tree pose by yourself and finding greater ease as you touch the hand of your neighbor, even swaying as a living forest. After an amazing breakfast (I know because I took a picture of it), I watched the girls take a surf lesson, saving my lesson for the paddle board later in the week which I felt was more my speed. That afternoon in yoga, a dog joined us in the studio and was reluctant to leave, even overcoming a makeshift barrier. We learned his name is Solovino, one of the many beach dogs in the area. That night we had been invited to a beach bonfire at the surfer house and campsite just outside the retreat property. We plopped down on the sand in our dinner attire and looked up at the stars, commenting on how many more layers there were here out in seclusion versus the very bright skies of the cities we live in. We talked with the surfers who were from all over the world and heard their stories of nomad life. I truly am envious of that lifestyle.
Wednesday Jan 6, 2016: Had a good yoga class this morning, but I had set my expectations low for arm balances and headstands and did a little better than I expected. I was up early journaling and enjoying a cup of tea by the beach before yoga. After class we went on a strenuous 4 hour jungle trek eventually finding a waterfall and swimming hole. I think we all skipped yoga that afternoon. Dinner and drinks and early to bed.
Thursday Jan 7, 2016: Yay it’s my birthday and has been a great day so far. This morning’s yoga was dedicated to wishing me a happy birthday so getting everyone’s extra positive thoughts was nice. After yoga I had a massage and was treated to a birthday bloody mary by one of the girls. My sweet roommate got me a bracelet made by a local artisan. We enjoyed the beach and had cheap delicious mojitos and ceviche tostadas at the beach bar. At dinner, they dimmed the lights and brought me out a cake with the whole dining room singing to me. We all sat by the bonfire afterwards, and one of my new friends taught me about grounding as we dug our feet into the sand. Everyone went to bed early as is the norm here, but I stayed up alone thinking, crying, and just being present on my birthday.
Friday Jan 8, 2016: I had a lot of anxiety and sadness this morning. Yoga was good but then the paddle board lesson was cancelled. The waves were too rough for paddle boarding, so after yoga we enjoyed our last day on the beach. I said goodbye to my surfer friends. We met a few more campers and learned about their lives, their homes, and their travels. In celebration of our last day, I had too many mojitos and forgot to eat lunch. After skipping yoga to start packing, I laid down for a nap that ended with the girls banging on my door because I had missed dinner. Oops. I joined them for a quick after dinner drink, not one to pass up my free daily beverage then it was off to sleep. The week was very fun but exhausting, have I mentioned those damn stairs??
Saturday Jan 9, 2016: Last morning here and bittersweet. I really enjoyed it and hope to continue yoga to keep my body and mind healthy. What have I learned here? I am strong and independent. I can learn new things like yoga and meet new people. After leaving yoga early due to a wee bit of a hangover, Solovino the yoga loving beach dog followed me to my room and kindly waited outside for me while I finished packing up. My sweet pup of 12 years had just passed a few weeks prior and seeing all these beach dogs reminded me of her so much, especially a girl we named Jaunita Bonita. We walked through the village one last time to the dock as the water was too rough for a beach departure. I dislike yet know so well the feeling of heading home after a trip. That looking forward to getting into your own shower and bed, the sadness of leaving a beautiful relaxing place and new friends behind that you’ll likely never see again, dreading the laundry and bills that have piled up, and the excitement of deciding WHERE TO NEXT??