Just flew in from Thailand, and boy are my arms tired. Actually my everything is tired after two and a half weeks of constant traveling, walking, eating, and drinking eleven hours in the future. I took 7 planes, 8 boats, 4 tuk tuks, and numerous taxis over this journey, and if I never see another Thai Airlines stromboli “hot pocket” it will be too soon. I visited Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Phuket, Phi Phi Islands, and Railay Beach which I will detail in future posts. What I’m sharing here is a general list of things that apply in all areas that would be helpful to know before you go, or just satisfy your desired knowledge of another culture. The first question I get is “How long is the flight?” I live in Atlanta with direct flights to almost anywhere in the world, except Thailand. I took Korean Air 15 hours to Seoul and then 5 hours to Bangkok. It was pretty much the same amount of time to go east or west, with one stop in whatever major city was the hub of that particular airline. There were cheaper options with more stops, and it’s always better to book sooner than the 3 weeks out that I did, but I was very happy with almost all of the Korean Air experience. Surprisingly the long flights really weren’t that bad as I got into a nice rhythm of eat Korean food, drink free wine, watch a new movie, nap a little, repeat. We stayed in nice hotels and resorts with breakfast always included, and the total for all the flights (including within country) and hotels was about $2500 USD. There are many options to do this less expensively, and there are a wealth of blogs out there about that from the real backpackers you should check out. The jet lag wasn’t bad heading out with all the excitement of being in a new place. Coming home to piles of laundry and bills was a different story. Now back to the beginning of this tale, here’s what you need to know before you go.
Vaccinations: The CDC recommends all travelers be up to date on routine vaccinations such as MMR, DTP, chickenpox, polio, and flu shot. In addition, Hepatitis A and Typhoid are advised for most travelers, and Hepatitis B, Japanese Encephalitis, Malaria, Yellow Fever, and Rabies should be considered for some travelers based on travel plans. Fortunately from my recent Haiti trip, I was good on the “all” and “most” categories and opted to skip the “some” recommendations. So far, so good. Another option is drinking vodka tonics as the quinine in the tonic water has anti-malarial effects, but that’s only my professional drinker’s opinion not my medical one. Zika has made its way to Thailand too, and as with malaria, the best prevention is lots of bug spray. Of note, DEET wipes will ruin your manicure, and Sawyers controlled release Picaridin lotion worked very well as both an insect repellant and full body moisturizer. To learn why the rabies vaccine would have been a good choice and what an ER visit in Thailand is like, check out my next blog about Bangkok.
How to Pack: Please read someone else’s blog about how to do it the right way. Here’s how to do it the wrong way; a likely incomplete list of all the things I brought that were never used: hair straightener, travel steamer, beach towel (provided by hotels), jewelry, heels, and a bunch of shirts, dresses, and undies. Some unnecessary things I wore or used just so they didn’t make this list. I debated between a rolling duffel that can double as a backpack but would be exposed to the elements and crushing force of other luggage or a protective hard suitcase that would need to be rolled down the beach and awkwardly lifted in and out of moving boats, I chose option B and therefore tipped often. The best choice is option C, a real backpack with waterproof covering as it not only is the easiest to maneuver, it makes you appear to be a legitimate world traveler. Mine weighed in at around 20 kg, or 44 lbs for you Yanks, which is why I needed multiple Thai massages (see below). Always check your baggage limit, which fortunately is usually higher internationally than it is in the US, though we did have an issue with Thai Smiles airline which resulted in the suitcase shuffle in front of the check-in desk, always poor form. The general advice I failed to take on what to pack for a long trip is a couple solid color shirts and shorts that can be worn with anything in material that can be washed easily and dries quickly. Laundry services are cheap and available everywhere, or you can wash it yourself (castile soap is a good option for washing literally everything), or do what I did and pack way too much stuff so you don’t have to worry about it. Don’t forget your international adapter/converter. I don’t know the difference so of course brought everything I could find, only needing to use the one that goes directly into the wall. Another must have is an umbrella and rain coat if you’re traveling in Monsoon Season (May to November), and a willingness to get wet. Our pattern seemed to be 2 nice days followed by 2 days of constant downpours. Though the prices are allegedly cheaper during the rainy season, you should allot more time in each place you visit and be flexible with plans. You’ll have wifi at most hotels and restaurants though it can be spotty. Best advice, not that I follow it, is to leave your work at home and enjoy the present moment without announcing it on social media.
Attire and Respect: As you’re planning what to pack, note that Thailand is a fairly conservative country (see below to hear me totally contradict that statement). Most locals keep their shoulders and cleavage covered, which unfortunately does not describe my current closet situation. When visiting temples, which if you go to Thailand you should do, you will be required to have your shoulders and legs covered. Yes it’s always 90 degrees Fahrenheit there. You can bring a long skirt and shawl to put over your lighter clothes if desired, but note that at the Grand Palace, a shawl is not considered enough covering but you can join the long line to rent what appeared to be a very warm gown. When at the temples, or sometimes more casual locations like the convenience store, it is customary to remove your shoes. Pay attention to the signs or the fact that there’s a bunch of shoes outside the door. When in front of a Buddah statue, do not face the bottom of your feet towards it. You will also see many signs advising that the Buddah is to be respected not worn or purchased for decoration, and that it is illegal to do so. This is often right next to a place where Buddah chachkies are sold. Thai people have much respect for their royalty as evidenced by the pictures around the city and would be very offended by any disrespect shown towards them. In turn, the Buddhist culture will offer you protection in the form of shrines at hotels and garlands in taxis and on boats. And in case you were considering it, don’t touch a Thai person on the head.
Let’s Talk Money: The Thai Baht is worth 0.029 US Dollars at this time. In simplifying the math, you can take the baht amount, chop of the last 2 digits, and multiply the remaining amount by 3. So taking 500 baht, removing the 2 zeroes leaves 5 which times 3 is $15, easy peasy. We exchanged money at the airport in the US before leaving rather than dealing with it after 20 plus hours of travel and a combination of sleeping pills. We lost a good deal of money in fees and poor exchange rate this way which was not well explained, so I would recommend getting only enough to grab a taxi from the airport. Of note, taxis often do not have change for large bills, which baffles me as they are acquiring small bills all day. From Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok, we were expected to pay 2 small tolls (another time the taxi driver paid then charged us a confusing amount) plus an airport fee in addition to the amount on the meter. Bottom line is the total was around 450 baht, so you really only need $20 to get started. Otherwise, you can get a better exchange rate from atms which are everywhere for a 200 baht fee ($6) plus your bank’s fee (mine was $5). They only take American Express at a limited amount of places, so be sure to have a Visa or Mastercard handy; I found credit card fees to be minimal. The further out you are from a city and certainly amongst the common street vendors, you will need cash. Thailand is relatively cheap otherwise and your money will take you far. Tipping is not expected but is greatly appreciated, not much is needed to make a service provider’s day.
Getting Around: More like closing your eyes and praying to arrive alive. Taxis are a common form of transportation, and it is best if you can get one to use a meter. They will from the airport and your hotel usually, but getting home they will try to negotiate a much higher price. Feel free to walk away and ask the next one, there are plenty. Once you’re tired of the game and realize your argument over 100 baht is really only $3, hop in and hold on tight. If finding a taxi willing to use the meter is rare, finding a seatbelt is like riding a unicorn over the rainbow. Lanes are an often ignored suggestion, and you can expect lots of switching around while scooters carrying families of 5 race between lanes heading for the front of the pack. You can hop on the back of a scooter for hire as well when you spot the drivers wearing orange vests with identifying info on the back, but prepare to have your legs grazed by passing motorists. The tuk tuk is another fun mode of transportation for rent with the rate always being negotiable. It is basically a loud tricycle version of a scooter with a covered cart on the back, best for a shorter ride due to lack of A/C and overwhelming exhaust fumes. If possible, have your destination address, phone number, and map available (a phone screen shot will do) as the drivers either do not know the location or are pretending not to or worse pretending they do when they do not. The most dangerous means of getting around is by foot, but it is the cheapest assuming you can stay out of the Emergency Room. Sidewalks are often crowded with parked cars if they exist at all forcing you to walk in the street. Predicting what the cars will do is difficult as they drive on the left (if that’s not what you’re used to) and there often aren’t any consistent right of way indicators such as stop signs or lights, just the mere fact that the road belongs to the person who gets there first and you do not want to get in the way of that. Yet somehow it works as we only saw one minor accident and no injuries despite our many close calls. It must be the offerings the Buddhist drivers place on their rear view mirrors in the form of flowers, ribbons, and pictures along with the blessings of monks inscribed on the roofs of the cars. You will see these traditional decorations on the scooters and boats as well.
Greetings: It is traditional in Thailand to greet and depart by bowing slightly with your hands in a prayer position, called the “wai.” A deeper bow and higher hand placement is used to show greater respect. Along with the gesture, it is common to say hello and goodbye by speaking “sawatdi” followed by “kha” if you’re female and “khrap” if you’re male. Another good term to know of course is thank you, or “khob khun kha” (spoken by a female) and “khob khun khrap” (spoken by a male). You can listen to these online before you go, but you will hear them so often your brain will quickly pick up some semblance of the word for your mouth to mumble. Good thing is you are bowing simultaneously so your words can be muffled just enough to get the attempt across.
Food and Drink: Don’t drink the water. If you take anything away from this blog, it should be that. Don’t even brush your teeth with it no matter how nice your hotel is. If they provide you with free bottled water, and most will, that is a message you should read loud and clear. When you order water in restaurants, bottled is the only option. I didn’t have any problem with ice in drinks, but that may have been due to the large amounts of alcohol in them. As for those drinks, they have 3 common local beers which I saw people enjoying (it’s a taste I’ve yet to acquire): Singha, Chang, and Leo. My personal choice is wine but unfortunately it’s quite terrible there unless you’re at a fancier spot. The last resort option that every restaurant featured was the extensive but predictable basic fruity cocktail list that made your stomach turn after a few. Their idea of napkins differs a little from ours so you’ll find yourself mopping up your drink’s drippy condensation with ineffective wads of tiny Kleenexes. Buffet style breakfast was included at all of our hotels where you could fill up on anything from pastries and eggs to pad thai and pasta first thing in the morning. Fresh juice selections were always the highlight. Street vendors are everywhere selling every kind of food imaginable (and some unimaginable) and restaurants line the streets and alleys, all they do is eat. Most restaurants offer open air, patio, or rooftop dining which pleases the smokers, and everyone there is a smoker, who will not hesitate to light up next to you while you are eating. The service takes a while to get used to if you’re able to at all. Upon sitting, you will be bombarded by multiple servers ready to take your order though you haven’t had a chance to look. After that, you will never see them again. Not when your glass is empty, not when your plates are stacked, not when all you want to do is help them turn a profit by paying and relinquishing your table. They are not being rude, they just are under the impression that you do not want to be bothered and will ask for anything you need. You will have to go against all instincts of proper restaurant etiquette you have (and if you don’t please stay home) and call out while waving your arms in the air as they are avoiding eye contact with you. Sometimes a 10% service fee is included but that will be stated clearly on the menu and the bill, and again it is always appreciated when you tip.
Bathrooms: These are funny little places full of unusual nuances. Don’t worry, you’ll always have a pot to piss in, and it will always be accompanied by a hose similar to the one in your kitchen sink. You usually don’t have to use the hose as toilet paper or something resembling it is often provided (though you are sometimes asked not to flush it). Every once in a while as you get more remote, the hose is your only cleansing option. Don’t worry it comes out warm and refreshing. Just kidding, it shoots out freezing cold water at speeds that will tear your skin off and can be avoided by carrying your own toilet paper and hoping there’s a trashcan.
Thai Massage: This is the single best experience Thailand has to offer. I should know, I had 7 in 15 days. For $6 to $12, you can get an hour long massage sharing a platform with your fellow customers and their therapists. Sometimes there is a curtain separating you, sometimes there is not. It can be dark and quiet or brightly lit with lots of chatter. You are fully clothed in scrub-like outfits they provide or just in your street clothes. Thai massage is a full contact sport. Your most private parts will be touched as they pull, push, and prod you until you wonder what you did in a past life to anger this person so. Your bones will pop, your muscles will ache, and you’ll thank this person profusely for it. Unfortunately, we learned a little too much about the “extra” services provided at all massage parlors during an accidental google search which tainted the experience from that point on. It’s best to accept that it happens as part of their culture but don’t look into the details, you may not be able to enjoy your above the board massage and nobody wants that. The younger and prettier the girls are sitting outside, the more you can expect post-massage extras are occurring. The sex industry is part of Thailand and may suddenly be upon you as you turn a corner. Be knowledgeable about what you’re buying as appearances are not always what they seem nor do ping pong shows involve table tennis. The transgender lifestyle is widely accepted in Thailand, and “ladyboys” work in all legitimate and illegitimate industries. The gal I met gave a damn good massage, the best I’ve ever had, followed by a special treat at the end--a French braid!
So who’s ready to go to Thailand?! Coming up in my next blogs you’ll hear more details about the places we visited. Until then…Sawatdikha.